The Outback: Uluru

The views from the plane between Sydney and Alice Springs in Central Aus were incredible; the land is as red and flat as New Zealand is green and mountainous. Alice Springs itself isn't much to write home about and is at worst a little threatening with vagrant Aborigines lining the centre. Unfortunately, many of the Aborigines have drink problems as their digestive systems are not developed in the same way as ours resulting in easy addiction and severe impact on internal organs. Consequently, many of the communities in central Aus are dry and liquor shops will not sell alcohol to Aborigines at the request of the local chiefs. Alice Springs, being the biggest town in 15,000km is unfortunately a magnet for Aborigines with social problems and it's very sad to witness them trying to marry a 60,000 year old culture with Euro-Australians. Alice Springs is, however, a holding venue for the thousands of tourists commissioning tours into the outback to see Uluru (or the European given name 'Ayers Rock'). The YHA was awful and poor Luce had a harsh introduction to hostel life in a 16 person mixed dorm and outside toilets!

Our 4am start the next morning for our outback trip saw us rubbing our eyes through the 5 hour journey and we weren't sure whether the land was really as red as it appeared or whether our bleary eyes were deceiving us. They weren't and it is. The sand is iron-rich and this raises to the surface through evaporation then turns rusty giving it the red colouring. For 500km we traveled along roads so straight they could have been built by the Romans and took in the surprisingly green bush, vivid against the redness of the sand. We even got our first glimpse of kangaroos as they hopped furiously into the bush. Our surroundings were so alien to us that it felt as if we were on Mars!

The red sandstone lent a surreal edge to the imposing Kings Canyon which rises 100m from the otherwise flat countryside. It seems that this year is the year in a four year cycle where there is more rainfall in central Aus, resulting in a canyon dotted with wild flowers in pinks and yellows. The canyon was also rich with bush tucker such as bush tomatoes and wild fig (no witchetty grubs in sight though, thank goodness!) The climb to the top of the canyon was tough in the heat but the walk around the rim afforded stunning views and revealed miles and miles of desert. Again the life and sights seemed alien with glow-in-the-dark gum trees, fossilized jellyfish and the stunning Garden of Eden where a watering hole promotes even more green life. To complete our visit we lay on our fronts at the top of the canyon looking down the sheer drop and across to the red cliffs, stained with dashes of black and white. The only downside were the amount of flies that buzzed around and after Beth swallowed a fly, Steve snorted one and Lucy got one stuck in her ear, we were pleased to retreat into the air-conditioned bus again despite leaving the breathtaking views behind.

It was a good old Aussie barbi for lunch and after hamburgers and salad we shrewdly dived into the nearest shop to purchase fly nets for our next walk. Arriving at the campsite for the night, we watched the sunset over a distant Uluru and in the space of an hour witnessed incredible colour changes over the rock from a vibrant red that slowly changed hue to a deep purple. The sight of the rock was moving and we could almost sense it's spiritual presence that the Aborigines credit it with. In contrast, the huge silhouette of the Olgas rocks in the distance, resembled a fat Homer Simpson lying on his back much to our amusement! We spent the night under the stars in the light of a full moon while the gentle breeze of the outback cooled our fly-net covered faces.

Next morning we arose at 4am to travel to Uluru for sunrise. The excitement on the bus was almost tangible as we all anticipated seeing the monolith at close quarters. Uluru didn't disappoint and the crowd were hushed as we watched the sun rise and change the mood of Uluru dramatically from oppressive black silhouette to a rich orange. We decided not to climb the rock as that is extremely offensive and upsetting for the Aborigines who consider the rock sacred. Instead we walked 8km around the base and watched in fascination as the light changed again and the rock turned a burnt red hue. A visit to the Aboriginal cultural centre provided an interesting conclusion to the region and it was back on the bus to head to The Olgas. Kata Tjuta or the Olgas are not a monolith but a collection of rocks made up of different layers and a walk into the centre of the domes proved they were almost as stunning in their own right.

Returning to Alice Springs, we spent our final night celebrating our fantastic two days with the rest of our tour group in the Melenka Party Bar. And party we did. Not only were we dragged on stage as 1 of 3 couples forced to cross-dress and take part in other activities more at home on a 18-30 holiday, but we danced on tables and were generally misbehaving with the rest of our fantastic tour group. Our hangovers almost killed us in the morning and were not conducive for a happy flight to Darwin. Lucy is clearly going to be a bad influence!

Sydney: Part 1

Arriving in customs at Aus was a traumatic experience. We were pulled over for carrying dried chilies and they were confiscated to prevent us from growing them. Steve tried to explain to the grim-faced customs officer that they were freeze-dried and therefore unlikely to germinate but it really didn't seem like the right time. Harder to explain however was the bag of white powder they found in a sealed plastic bag in Beth's rucksack. Fortunately the sniffer dogs could tell the difference between Persil and cocaine!

It was a rainy day in Sydney on our arrival and after a sleepless night in Christchurch airport (seemed like a good way to aclimatise ourselves to roughing it again!), we looked as grey as the weather. A reunion with Lucy (Beth's sister who is traveling around Aus with us) lifted our spirits and we found the energy to explore Sydney a little. Our first venue was Circular Quay where Sydney Opera House and the Harbour Bridge are located and we weren't disappointed in the picture-postcard sight. Although at close quarters we couldn't help feeling that the Opera House does look a bit like a 1970's conservatory! After a drink in the Opera House Bar, we met Lucy's best friend Katie, boyfriend Steve and their gang of English friends working in Sydney, to go to a fantastic old-fashioned fairground and an institution in Sydney, Lunar Park. We transgressed back to our childhood as we rode on the wooden rollercoaster, careered down a helter skelter and shot hoops to win teddy bears. We managed admirably until about 11pm until we made our apologies and took to our beds. Our Sydney stay was based at the YHA at the Central Station in Sydney - bizarrely in a dorm designed to look like a railway carriage. If you opened the blinds, you were even greeted with the sight of hectic commuters littering the Central Station Platform. The novelty soon wore off however when we were woken most mornings by passenger announcements!

The following day was brilliant sunshine and where else to go in Sydney but to head to Bondi Beach? Oh, the stuff dreams are made of! We spent a day slowly roasting as we watched the surfers do their thing and the beautiful people strut their stuff. The day after was pretty miserable so we joined Luce and her friend's again in a visit to the Royal National Park. The Australian landscape seemed so alien to us after the lush scenery of New Zealand and we marveled at the cockatoos, red sandstone and bush that lined the river. Luckily, we managed to get in an hour on rowing boats before a dramatic storm set in.

Dragging Luce away from the shops and trying not to think about what a shock proper backpacking was going to be for her after a 2 week stint of boozing and shopping, we took a Sydney Harbour Cruise. In 2 hours we managed to see a lot of Sydney including Shark Bay with it's huge netting (there hasn't been a shark attack in Sydney Harbour since 1940 but with a name like that we couldn't help thinking they were tempting fate!), Point Piper the most expensive area of Sydney and sailing beneath the harbour bridge. Sydney is the third largest natural harbour in the world behind Rio and Auckland and we rather smugly basked in the knowledge that we have now seen all three!

Reluctantly we left Sydney, one of the most cosmopolitan and vibrant cities we have ever visited, comforting ourselves that we would return for 3 weeks over the Christmas and New Year period.

New Zealand - Because You're Worth It

Ok, ok so we credit L'Oreal with the title but New Zealand is just as good for your skin. Well, your soul really. Using the Kiwi's favourite saying it's 'sweet as'.

It feels like Mother Nature expended all her energy in creating New Zealand - particularly the South Island - blessing it with waterfalls and crystal blue lakes, turquoise seas and lush rainforests, thick forests that go on for miles, golden beaches, mysterious networks of caves and blue-white glaciers. It's almost as if she was exhausted after her creation so gave every other country in the world only a token gesture of each and blessed them with history instead.

Samuel Butler in his classic novel Erewhon, summarises New Zealand perfectly - "Never shall I forget the utter loneliness of the prospect only the little far away homestead giving sign of human handiwork, the vastness of mountain and plain, of river and sky; the marvellous atmospheric affects sometimes black mountains against a white sky, and then again, after cold weather, white mountains against black sky."

It is commonly expressed that in New Zealand you can experience four seasons in one day and it's just that unpredictability, teamed with nature at it's most exciting plus the man-made adrenalin-busting activites that make New Zealand, well, incredibly, totally and exhilaratingly, worth it.

Englishmen in Christchurch

Stopping at Lake Tekapo along route to see the famous tiny church perched on a rock face in front of the Southern Alps, we continued to our final destination in New Zealand...Christchurch.

With street names like Gloucester, Worcester, Hereford and St.Albans, a cathedral, pretty flower beds that give you intense hayfever and punting on the River Avon (very relaxing darhling), Christchurch is more English than England. If you can ignore the Japanese owned New Zealand souvenir shops on every corner that is. Our first day went up to a balmy 26degrees and we saw New Zealand in a different light. Well, sunlight actually. Bit of a shock to the system all round and not least because Beth's legs have not been waxed for 3 months, let alone seen the sun.

Six days in Christchurch (or ChCh as the locals call it) loomed in front of us and with the beauty of hindsight we wondered why we had not spent longer at Queenstown. Oh yes, we'd run out of money. So, armed with a self walk book we spent several days exploring what turned out to be a really fascinating city. We also indulged in all the activities that Christchurch is famous for; the gondola, punting, botanical gardens and the fascinating International Antarctic Centre. The centre was a fun insight into one of the least explored wildernesses left on earth. Beth was particularly interested in the political influences that cloud the region (the book 'Pink Ice' is a hot tip for a 30th Birthday present ;) ) whilst Steve was interested in becoming the first person to skydive over the region. It really does seem that in our case, opposites attracted! As well as riding the amphibious Hagglund vehicle which is actually used in the Antarctic and can traverse 6ft gaps, we also experienced a 'mild' Antarctic storm with a wind chill of -18degrees. Huddling into our fleeces, our sympathies were very firmly with the poor lady in a skirt.

We also visited Akaroa, a romantic French settlement that is home to 300 residents and swells to a whopping 3000 in peak season which is no wonder as it is a gorgeous village. We decided our last big blow-out in New Zealand would be the highly recommended Black Cat cruise around the harbour and as winners of the prestigious New Zealand 'supreme tourism award' for 2003/4, we knew it would be good. It was, we had a lovely cruise and saw some amazing rock formations including Scenery Nook which is shaded with reds and purples, oranges and yellows. Our main incentive for the cruise however was to see the Hectors dolphins which had already eluded us at Porpoise Bay in the Catlins and, as you can only see in New Zealand, was our last opportunity. Unfortunately they eluded us again and the Captain commented that it was the first time in over a year that they had not seen the Hectors Dolphins on one of their daily cruises. The words 'salt' and 'wounds' spring to mind. The captain did spot one in the distance and told us that as the dolphins can only stay under water for a maximum of 2 minutes, to look for it's break to the surface again. Well, this little Hectors Dolphin was clearly going for the free-diving world record because it was a no show back to the surface. D'oh. We did see a little seal in the water playing with a fish though so that was some compensation.

After a very relaxing week, we left New Zealand for Aus in a haze of hayfever. Well, that's our excuse for streaming eyes anyway. Nothing to do with the fact we were sad at leaving the heart-wrenchingly beautiful New Zealand.

Mt.Cook and Mt.Sunday

Following the Waikati valley we headed to Mt.Cook which at 3754m is the highest mountain in New Zealand. The scenery changed dramatically on route from lush farmland to dry tussock grass until finally we followed the shores of Lake Pukaki, a wonderfully vivid and almost chemical looking turquoise colour. Staying at the White Horse Hill DOC campsite in Mt.Cook village, we spent the night praying for good weather as we desperately wanted to do one of the famously beautiful walks in the valley. Next morning we were full of the joys of spring, quite literally, as the blue sky and brilliant sunshine sparkled off the snowy mountain tops, and the air was fresh and crisp. As we walked, we felt like the happiest, most blessed people on earth until we came to the Alpine Memorial - a poignant reminder of the people who have lost their lives climbing Mt.Cook and surrounding mountain ranges. The plaques were dedicated by parents and siblings, friends and colleagues, people who lost the people they love. It reminded us quite strongly that nature is so very volatile and as if on cue, the valley erupted with the sound of avalanches tumbling from the mountain ranges, echoing around the valley.

At almost 3151m, Mt.Sefton almost steals the limelight, standing in the foreground of the landscape but it's when you se Mt.Cook, majestic and unique in shape and size that you see why it attracts people from all over the world. A quote from Samuel Butler sums it up better than we ever could:

"I am not sure that Mount Cook is not the finest in outline of all the snowy mountains I have ever seen. No one can mistake it. If a person says he thinks he has seen it, you may be quite sure that he has not seen it. The moment it comes into sight the exclamation is 'that is Mount Cook', not 'that must be Mount Cook'. There is no possibility of mistake." Samuel Butler

Following the Hooker Valley and the tinkling sound of the Hooker Stream, we finally reached the Hooker Glacier terminus lake, complete with icebergs and boosting the creamiest sky blue water, borrowed from the light reflecting glacier particles submerged in the lake. A stark contrast to the almost chemical turquoise of Lake Pukaki we had seen the day before.

As the weather turned gale force, we finally dragged ourselves away from the lovely Mt.Cook and followed the Inland Scenic Route. We had the Southern Alps as a back drop for the next 100km and it was more than a slightly wistful glance that we shot at the Mt.Hutt ski field as we passed it, now nearing the end of the season and our budget proving too tight to have a final day boarding - boo. Anyway, not to be distracted, our destination: another bloody (Beth's adjective) LOTR filming location.

After a final and uncomfortable 20km on gravel roads we were rewarded with our first glimpse of Mt.Sunday aka Edoras in LOTR. Even Beth had to admit it was worth the visit, looking at the tussock-lined valley with Mt Sunday at the centre, raising 600m from the floor and put into perspective by the surrounding circle of mountains. Our climbing attempts were foiled by streams and finally a river so we gave up and watched the setting until dusk and then free camped on the banks of Lake Camp before our drive back to Christchurch - our final destination in New Zealand.

Getting personal with Penguins

Before heading to the 'penguin capital of the New Zealand' as claimed by the township of Oamaru, we stopped on route to see a "large group of rare spherical concertions" or a group of perfectly circular boulders to you and me. The Moeraki Boulders are an amazing sight and strangely quite moving as the sea swirls and licks the circular dimensions into, sadly, eventual destruction. You need a PHD in geology however to understand why they are as they are!

Arriving in Oamaru at dusk we caught sight of some yellow-eyed penguins on the beach, looking for all the world like miniature Zorro's with a yellow mask like strip across their eyes. Driving back through the pretty town, similar in architecture to Dunedin but executed in the whitestone typical of the Waitaki valley, we headed to the blue penguin colony. In an unobtrusive wooden 'grandstand' we watched the smallest penguin in the world waddle from the sea up to the jetty, sidestep 2 fur seals who were asleep in their path and run to their nests where expectant partners rolled over to greet them. Rolled over quite literally as we watched a couple copulate under the orange lighting right in front of the stand. In fact it got so intense we felt we should look away to give the little humping penguins some privacy!

'Och Aye The Noo'ing' in Dunedin

Arriving in Dunedin we were struck by it's resemblance to Britain and not just because of the Scottish name. It's the architecture as well; with Victorian buildings such as the train station teamed with steep streets reminiscent of Edinburgh. Even the domestic residences are made from brick and are often 2 storey which is a rare sight indeed in an earthquake vulnerable New Zealand. It's also the close proximity of the houses to one another, sometimes terraces, in a country where space is not of a premium. The centre is lovely and buzzes with a vibrancy you associate with British cities; you could easily be in Cheltenham, Edinburgh or Nottingham. That and with the sun finally out we felt right at home in Dunedin and, if truth be told, a little homesick for Britain.

As the base for Otago University, Dunedin is chock-a-block with students and this probably contributes to the Scottish city feel too. A walk to the Dunedin botanical gardens saw us sharing our picnic lunch with half the student population - we knew they were students because who else would be lolling around on a Friday lunchtime? Oh yes, us. Ahem.

Talking of steep streets we walked up Baldwin Street in Dunedin, the steepest in the world according to the Guinness Book of Records, at a gradient of 1:3. The postman must be the fittest chap in New Zealand!

Next stop, the Otago Peninsula to the east of Dunedin. According to David Bellamy, it is the finest example of eco-tourism in the world. Yes, well David Bellamy is rich and tourism is the operative word on the peninsula. There are apparently cheaper (i.e. free) and less commercialised places to see penguins, so we passed on the eco bit and visited Lanarch Castle, the only castle in New Zealand, instead. Set high in the Peninsula hills and with the fog as thick as pea soup, the castle soared eerily above the beautiful grounds. The ballroom-come-restaurant with roaring log fires was a cosy retreat though and we truly expected a piper with bright red hair to dance round the corner in a whirl of tartan and bagpipes. Somehow the lovely Dunedin seems to encourage stereo-types.

We finish this update with a saying we saw outside the 'Wee Robbie Bottle Shop', an off-license in Dunedin with a sense of humour - "I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy". Agreed!

The Heart of the Catlins

After a night of storms that rocked the van and managed to keep us awake most of the night for fear of rolling into the sea, we had a lovely fresh morning to explore the Catlins. Actually, we have renamed the Catlins to 'Sheeplins'. There really are more sheep here than people and God help us if they ever develop wolfish instincts because they must out number people 50:1! It's lambing season though and we spent the first 50km drive watching the fluffy bundles with surprisingly long tails, spring and leap their way through the fields. Cute but we couldn't help but think that surely there is more to what guide books refer to as the 'underrated Catlins'. There was. Much more. We soon reached the coast and the scenery changed from rolling green hills, forest and lambs to dramatic coast lines and steep cliffs sheltering golden sands (for the millionth time, note to selves: must come back in summer).

There are lots of short walks along the southern scenic route and our first was through rainforest to reach the McLean falls, a wonderfully steeped rockface with a cascade of water tumbling with such force that the collection of foam at the foot resembled a dead lamb (concerned about our growing obsession with lambs). After our second walk; a rather uninteresting boardwalk venture through an estuary, we stopped at the Matai and Horseshoe Falls. Both pretty in different ways, the Matai are high and dramatic whilst the Horseshoe Fall is gentle and shallow enough for Charlie Dimmock to replicate as a garden water feature.

Our next stop was Purakaunui Falls at which point we had started to get serious de ja vu. We love waterfalls but how many can you see in a day and still be delighted? Four as it turns out because Purakaunui were the most magnificent by far. They cascade over three wide steps and certainly live up to the 'most beautiful falls in Catlins' billing that all the brochures give them.


Our last stop of the day was Cannibals Bay, famed for it's wildlife, although we didn't really expect to see anything, let alone stumble upon a 2m New Zealand (Hooker) sea lion. Fortunately it was in a deep slumber and didn't even flinch as we backed off fast!

We spent the night at Kaka Point Motor Camp (who names these towns?) before getting up at 5.30am to travel to Nugget Point. We didn't quite get the golden glow effect over the rocks that inspired the name 'Nugget Point' but the gorgeous pink sun rebounding off the unusual cloud formations made the early start, and the photographs, worthwhile. Before leaving we walked to the neighbouring Roaring Bay and viewed the comical and very rare yellow-eyed penguins, waddling from the hillside into the sea to catch their breakfast. As soon as they had disappeared from view we chuckled all the way back to the van at their antics and then did the same thing - tucked into some breakfast before heading north to Dunedin*.

* We can't prove that the penguins were heading to Dunedin of course but it finished the update nicely...

The bleak and windy Southland

We could have spent much longer at Milford Sound but we would never have left so we headed down to Invercargil, the southern most city of New Zealand instead. Fortunately, as cities go, Invercargill is particularly drab so we can rest easy on the descriptive words. But what Invercargill lacks in style, the people make up for in friendliness. We got chatting to the owners of the Invercargill Top 10 Holiday Park and they ended up by giving us 6 freshly laid eggs from their farm. Maybe if we had sparked up conversations with the population of Invercargill, we wouldn't have needed to visit the supermarket so often? On their recommendation we walked through Donovan Park to the nearest pub. 30 minutes later, we were gasping for a beer and after a refreshing Monteiths we played Pool (Steve won) and darts (Steve won) before realising the pub was also a betting shop. Arguments ensued about the sensibility of betting after a beer (Beth won) and 3 bets later we had exhausted our kitty for the night.

The next day we drove south to Bluff - the second southernmost point of New Zealand. An immensely windy drive up Bluff Hill gave panoramic views of, well, a small port and even smaller village with it's redeeming feature being a view of Stewart Island albeit shrouded in mist. We took the obligatory photo of the multi-destination signpost and stopped at Fred & Myrtle's Paua Shell house. Unfortunately Fred and Myrtle passed away recently and for that reason a spooked Steve had to be dragged into the house to see the rather bizarre interior....a room with Paua shells lining the walls. A bit surreal and confirming our opinion that people in Bluff are slightly strange. Steve did a round of "I told you so's" all the way until the start of the Southern Scenic road, the Gateway to the Catlins. We stopped for the night at the Curio Bay motor camp, famed for it's sightings of penguins and the rare Hectors Dolphins. The penguins were quite sensibly hiding from the wind and were nowhere in sight. .Similarly the Hectors Dolphins were not around prompting a foray of bad jokes from Steve starting with 'how careless of Hector'. You get the picture. We finished the day by walking to the beach to see the remains of a petrified forest - tree trunks from the Jurassic age that have been preserved for 180 million years. Seeing as New Zealanders consider artifacts from 100 years ago to be ancient in context of their history, these were a pretty amazing sight and deserved of the international recognition bestowed upon them.

Lost for words at Milford Sound

Well, we've quite simply run out of descriptive words. We've used beautiful and stunning, spectacular and breath-taking, gorgeous, awesome and even paradise. And they were all used sincerely and without exageration. But they were all used before we saw Milford Sound. Or correction, travelled the Milford Road and Milford Sound. The 119km drive is filled with mountains so high that you loose your sense of perspective, cheeky keas - the Alpine parrots intent on entertaining visitors and wrecking hire cars, rainforest so green that even the rocks are moss-covered and waterfalls so wonderfully clear and dramatic that they have sculpted the rocks into formations that only nature could achieve. And the silence. You really could be the only people in the world there. But that all sounds so 2 dimensional and inadequate. So easy to write but with no words to explain. The sights are a feeling, they leave you emotional and spell-bound. Maybe that's the way to describe them - magical.

Despite the 7-9m of rainfall (yes, that's metres!) that Milford Sound gets in a year (making it one of the wettest places on earth), we had a wonderfully sunny day for our cruise and without a cloud in the sky. As we left the jetty, in the 'Lady of the Sounds' catamaran, we were dazzled by the brilliant sunshine rebounding off the snowcapped mountains surrounding the Milford Sound and fragmenting the light until it shimmered and shone off the surface of the water. We felt priviliged to see such a special place and felt so insignificant amongst mountains over 1692m tall including the famous Mitre Peak. We opted for the cruise which stops at the underwater observatory, the closest you can get to the marine life without diving. Unlike Kelly Tarlton's in Auckland, it is not an Aquarium and the week before, some visitors had seen a 5m thresher shark circling the underwater observation area menacingly. After hearing that story, we put a good metre between us and the glass! Milford is actually a fjord (incorrectly named a sound) which means it is glacier-formed and unique as the fresh water flowing from the snow forms a 4m layer over the sea water, encouraging unusual conditions and marine life. We loved it and could have watched the fish swimming past the window all day. Returning to the boat, we sailed back to the jetty but first passing the spectacular Bowen Falls, so powerful, they charge an electricity dynamo and at 160m drop, an amazing sight. We were so sad to leave a place that lives up to all the photographs you will ever see in a glossy book but which can't quite do justice to the perspective, silence and crisp fresh air that makes Milford Sound one of the most moving experiences of our life and a very special place.

Milford Road itself offers a myriad of walks for seasoned trampers including the famous 4 day Kepler track and Milford track. After the Inca trail, we are done with 4 day tramps thank you very much but we took advantage of the shorter ones and after a night of 'free camping' in a layby, started on the 3 hour walk to Lake Marian the next day. Stumbling through rainforest we had immense fun clambouring over tree trunks, climbing up rocks and cutting our way through bush to reach the beautiful turquoise Lake Marian set in a hanging valley, totally enclosed by mountains and with a glacier thrown in for good measure. The silence was incredible with only the sounds of birds and water cascading from the mountains to disturb us. That is until an avalance started and was deafening, literally like gun shots, with snow and rocks tumbling down the mountain side. Fortunately nowhere near us as we watched from the safety of a rock we were perched on, happily chomping away on our picnic.

To finish our visit to the area, we 'free camped' over night in the Henry Creek DOC campsite on the banks of Te Anau Lake with views into Middle Fjord. Perfect.

Paradise by name, Paradise by nature

Reluctantly leaving Queenstown, we followed Lake Wakatipu to Glenorchy; famous for it's magnificent scenery, walks and more recently, Lord of the Rings filming locations. On arrival a sign welcomes you to the area, adding it's the gateway to Paradise. This is not just a wild claim either but a geographic fact as the small farming settlement of Paradise does actually sit just North of Glenorchy. After taking the obligatory photograph of the sign post, we headed through Glenorchy in search of Paradise (so to speak) and the Lord of the Rings filming sights, 'doing it ourselves' as we're pretty skint after Queenstown! We hadn't really factored the rough terrain into our plans though and spent 10km on gravelled roads, clutching our guide book tightly whilst negotiating fords, fields and herds of sheep along the way. Our poor 3 ton, 6m long camper van didn't know what had hit it! We soon came to the end of the road, well, for our journey in the camper van anyway and had to continue on foot. We soon realised that our confidence in the guide book was severely misplaced and whilst the book gives GPS coordinates, it's written directions are pants. For over an hour we walked searching for the elusive locations where Gandolph rode down the hill to Helms Deep, the area where Isengard was projected and Mt.Earnslaw aka the Misty Mountains. After another half an hour we still couldn't find Paradise or the elusive filming locations and were on the verge of turning back when, as luck would have it, a 4x4 sightseeing tour from Queenstown stopped next to us. Thank God for Nomad Safari's who took pity on us, gave us a cup of tea and pointed out the exact locations which, typically, we were actually standing next to (much to the annoyance of the sightseers who had probably paid a fortune for the trip!)

We took the return journey more slowly to appreciate the stunning scenery that the Paradise valley offers; mountains, ancient beech forests and the Dart River. Paradise definitely lives up to it's name and in places you can even imagine the Orcs marching to Helms Deep right next to you!

In the evening we 'free camped' in a Department of Conservation site called Twelve Mile Delta - the most wonderful place we have camped by far. We watched the sunset turn the Remarkables a gorgeous shade of pink then fell asleep to the sounds of Lake Wakatipu lapping against the shore.

The next morning we continued our mission to find some more Lord of the Rings locations, specifically where Smeogal caught his coneys (fish). We really should have learned our lesson by now and after an hours steep climb we arrived at Lake Dispute which, although was very lovely, wasn't what we had come to see. Beth wanted to go back to the van and have some breakfast - what most normal people are doing at 8am on a Sunday morning. But no, Steve was determined to locate the exact place so onwards we climbed. After an hour, Beth almost choked with delight when she saw another 2 trampers walking towards her and, caught up in her desperation to go back to the van and put her feet up, called out 'do you know where Smeogal caught his Coney's?'. She might as well have asked them something cryptic like 'which way does the moon shine if the buzzards are flying north' because Lord of the Rings fans they quite clearly were not. She had to feel sorry for them as they scarpered away quickly in the opposite direction. In the end, even Steve had to admit that we obviously weren't going to find the place and so gave it up as a bad job and headed back to the van. But not before Steve had to wrestle the doomed Lord of the Rings filming location from Beth before she threw it as hard as she could into Lake Dispute.