The Green Cross Code - Ho Chi Minh City style

1. Shuffle to edge of pavement. Observe the rows of traffic, no system, few traffic lights and the fact they use horns instead of indicators but SHOW NO FEAR.
2. Walk off pavement and onto road - inevitably into hordes of motorbikes, cyclos, mopeds and cars. SHOW NO FEAR.
3. SHOW NO FEAR whilst talking to your companion in joyful and relaxed manner.
4. Studiously avoid eye contact with 16 motor cyclists gunning for you whilst SHOWING NO FEAR.
5. Walk in a straight line determinedly and precisely. Zig-zagging means almost certain death.
6. In a measured style, walk at a consistent speed across what will seem like the Hanger Lane Gyratory and SHOW NO FEAR.
7. When you finally reach the other side of what feels like eight lanes of the M1, stumble to the nearest bar, consume a bottle of Saigon Beer and only then feel free to show your fear.

NB. Basically the golden rule when crossing the road in Ho Chi Minh city is DON'T stop, DON'T look and DON'T listen.